A Loves Return

One of my many passions is music.

I enjoy listening to it.
I enjoy attempts of dancing to it.
I enjoy singing to it.

I enjoy making it even more.

Yesterday, on the one day of the year that commemorates "love," my dad came by with a bouquet of flowers, hugged me and then said he would have me reunited with my love, my piano, today.

By 4 p.m., I had my very beautiful upright piano in my apartment, and out of my parents house, for the first time ever.

I vividly recall the day George and Brenda, along with my parents, crammed it through our front door and into the living room. I remember standing and marveling at it's shiny cherry wood and white keys.

It was a beauty.
It was my beauty.

I was five and my feet dangled off the bench as I tinkered with a variety of crudely sounding chords. Mom soon had me signed up with one of the best piano teachers in the county (perhaps the crude chords were getting to be too much) and a few years after that, I could read music and play several simple lullabies.

That was nearly 20 years ago. Now, I have my beauty back. I've re-claimed my piano. It's home now. Praise the Lord!

My lovely piano and myself have shared many, many intimate moments. When Annie died, my piano became a place where I grieved. When mom and I would argue, my piano was a place where I could creatively "bang" out my frustration. When I suffered high-school heart-ache, my piano became a place where I would cry through my fingertips. When I was happy and in the throws of young-love, my piano became a place where my joy would be on display. When I yearned to worship, my piano became my soul. When I got ready to leave for college, my piano became a place where memories were recorded.

Now, when I want to cry, laugh, creatively yell, worship, praise, and sing, I have my piano again!!

"Praise Him with a blast of the ram's horn;
praise Him with the lyre and harp!
Praise Him with a clash of cymbals;
praise Him with loud clanging cymbals.
Let everything that breathes sing praises to the LORD!
Praise the LORD!" Psalm 150:3-6 (NLT)

Father, thank you for the gift of music. You're beauty is so evident throughout creation and through music, and I Praise You for that. I look forward to getting to worship and praise You every minute of every day in Your Kingdom.

Thank you for blessing me with my piano, and with my ability to play it. Lord, help me use this skill to bring You glory and to Sing Praises to You!

Hello, My Name is Kayla.

Dear Reader,

Hi. My name is Kayla.

I'm a twenty-something single Christian woman. I've recently accepted this fact.

I live in rural Indiana, surronded by dead horticulture in the winter, blossoming life in spring, lush agriculture in the summer and rusty colors in the fall.

I like to hike when it's 65 degrees and sunny with a slight breeze from the south-west. I like to hike off the path, find a quite place, sit down, close my eyes and listen to God's creation. I usually bring a journal around in case inspiration blows my way. When it does, I can write for hours.

I have lengthy list of what I want to do with my life.

The most recent day-dream that overtook me was working in a used bookstore in the heart of Chicago. I would live above the store on hardwood floors. My home would have 20 foot ceilings, exposed brick, an array of bold colors and ferns. Phillip, the cat, is there too. I would sit on a window seat overlooking the bustle underneath and marvel at how I, a small-town Indiana girl, ended up in Chicago. I would then bundle up in my houndstooth coat and scarlet scarf and walk to the coffee shop that's right across the street. There with my mac-book I would sit and e-mail Rachel, telling her how awesome Chicago is... In the middle of my possibly incoherent e-mail, I look up and walking in is my heartbeat. He's tall, has long dark dreadlocks and carries a copy of Blue Like Jazz and his Bible in his left hand. His gaze catches mine and my heart won't stop racing. "Good afternoon, beautiful" he says as he sits down. We talk -- every now and then he reaches up and brushes the hair from my face. I'm smitten. "Thank You, Lord," my soul sings after he kisses my forehead. "thank you for bringing me to my other half, the one You created for me."

Reader, as you can see, I day-dream a lot.

Reader, I also want you to see that I'm working towards becoming a self-less individual who is concerned about bringing justice to those who are overlooked in the system. I don't sit around and day-dream all day long. :)

I want to feed the hungry.

I want to serve others.

I want to be married and serve others with my husband.

I have a longing to support and work in international missions. I sometimes think this is my calling. I get really excited and tearful when I think or talk about it.

I want to spread the Gospel. I want to Love. I want my being to pour out true Love. I want someone to see me and know, without me opening my mouth, that I am filled with Jesus. I want those Jesus-sparkles in my eyes.

I want to learn how to dance.

Reader, I want you to know that I love you.

I love You.

Most importantly, reader, I want you to know that our infamous, Creator God -- the One who gave you tears, laughter and breath, Loves You. He even became Man (Jesus) and took on the evil of this world on a wooden cross. He died and after three days, took a breath and got up.

With that breath, God gave us salvation.

Reader, believe that and your entire perception will drastically change. Breathing, laughing, loving and living will be radiant. You shall shine.

I want you to believe that, Reader.

I also want you to know that I am not perfect. Christians aren't perfect.

I have many flaws. I stumble, fall and cry. I don't understand life at times. I have issues.

I smile when I really don't want to smile. I cry when all I want to do is smile.

I need encouragement.

As Nina would say, I'm on edge a lot.

I sometimes pretend to know who I am when I really have no clue.

I know I am a child of God. I know I am loved. I know the spirit dwells in me.

I know I want to be a wife, mother, writer, encourager, source of help and love, and a giver of free hugs and prayers someday. I want to be a Proverbs 31 woman.

I want you, reader, to meet me someday. I want my life to leave a legacy of Love. I want my words to encourage you to get in the Word, pray and develop an intimate relationship with Jesus.

I want this blog to be a place where I can share my thoughts, difficulties and triumphs as I walk with Jesus.

With that said, dear Reader, please join me in this venture.

Father, thank you for your Son and the salvation I have through Him. You, my dear creator, are abounding grace and mercy, and I thank YOU and praise YOU for that.

Lord help me daily discover who I am in You. Carry me, give me a peace that passes all understanding when I need it and give me the courage to wait on You.

Your plans are perfect, Lord. Help me rest in that. When I am impatient, grant me patience, when I am sad, guide me to Your Word. Help me use the Joy you've given me to bring more people to know You.

When I get hung-up and am feeling down, let me rest in your lap, Abba, and feel Your warm arms surrond me. For the things of this world will pass, but You are everlasting, ever-loving and ever-beautiful.

Please open doors that need to be opened, and bolt doors that are closed in my life. Push me through open doors if I hesistate, Lord.

Cleanse my mind, search my heart, and change what needs to be changed so that I can be who You have created me to be.

Lord, I'm willing. Break me, mold me, shape me.